ArdentTly - "I"

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I

I Had A Dream

If

Illusions

Illusions Recalled

Images of Kosovo

Immutable

Imperceptible Melodies

Imprisoned Heart

In August

Inamorata

Incitation

Incomplete

Inside/Outside

Insidious Prevalence

Intensity

Intimate Kiss

Iridescence

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I Had A Dream

My heart hammers in my chest
Building a tempo with each rise and fall
Of her hips, her pelvis, as she grinds into me.
I hold tightly to her waist with sure hands as she rides me,
The silky feel of each drop from her velvety depths sliding
Gradually down over my inner thighs and I die
A little more from the want of her.
Each moan, each sultry word of passion
Falls upon my thirsty ears and it is all I can do not to
Roll her over in one fluid motion and take her hard and fast.
As the rhythm increases and her actions become more frenzied
She opens her eyes, wild and glassy, and breathes my name,
Falling upon me, sealing my final death with a kiss.

July 5, 1999

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If

If my presence in your life
makes you unhappy, I shall go.
If what I can offer seems
less than you need, I will stop.
If my pain seems too much to bear,
my heart too shattered to hold,
I shall leave like a shadow in the darkness,
never more to bask in sunlight of your smile.
If your answer be 'yes',
I shall mourn the loss of your sweet face
and try to console myself with the truth
that I loved you well with all that I could.
And I would die a little more each day
knowing that even Death's embrace held
no hope for eternity in your arms.

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Illusions

she reaches out her
hands to me
hoping
that I will be
all she
dreams
and I try
but finds instead
that she misread
I'm not all
that l seem
that her
vision
was a lie

july 7, 1999

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Illusions Recalled

Tears and fears and angel dust
Will fall upon us as they must
But we must never, ever try
To turn our face and so deny
For each lesson that we learn
Sears our wounds, oh but the burn
We rail and cry and push away
Deny His council on that day
And then forever walk alone
Seal up our hearts just like his tomb
But the path, the light, the way
Open, waiting, formless clay
Is ours to hold so very close
Accepting all without remorse

August 2, 1999

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Images of Kosovo

People walk slowly, their backs hunched

Against the cold hard stares of the soldiers.

They carry small bundles, remnants of

Their mean little lives lived in hatred.

A woman watches as her son is cuffed

As he passes by the sneering group

Of men who's only pleasure in this life

Seems to be derived from the pain and

Sorrow they can inflict during the

Continuing bouts of ethnic cleansing.

She watches the set to his shoulders

And knows in her heart, all the dreams

For his future are lost as the cycle of

Hatred continues, never ending.

Her tears fall silently into the dust,

Leaving small glistening jewels

Where hope's greenery may take hold.

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Immutable

You know that I love you.
That will never cease.
It is as constant as the light
from the moon or stars.
And like them,
even after we are long gone,
the light will shine on.

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Imperceptible Melodies

Growing up with ears that heard what others didn't
I was always moving to a rhythm that played in my mind.
I moved with steps so intricate and convoluted that
I could never hope to share it with a partner.
The life l lead was lived inside a bubble within a bubble,
Forever shielded from others that shared my dance;
My self imposed solitude accentuating the dichotomy
Of my existence, each side at odds with the other.
As I increased my knowledge, learning both love and desire
I began to see the steps needed to develop my skills,
Thereby expanding my own universe until finally
Those partners l longed to touch could build upon my
Dance steps and show me l was no longer alone.
I bear the bruises of such encounters proudly for l know
That there is one special person
Who shares my boundless curiosity,
My imperceptible differences,
Waiting for me, her eyes bright with anticipation.
My soul yearns for wholeness, to be encompassed once again
In the timeless embrace only fusion can bring.
Until then I keep dancing, learning through interaction that
Which will bring me closer to her sphere of influence.
Dancing as fast as I can.

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Imprisoned Heart

Can l hold you tightly against me
Imprinting my body upon yours
So deeply that we can convince
Each other that you are right...?

Can l cover your mouth so perfectly
That l can feel your breath in my lungs
Driving the doubt away
And trust that you know best?

Can we make love so deeply into the night
Non stop so that I can no longer hear the doubt
The pain salved by your cries of release at my hands
Blocking out the reality of what l know to be true?

Can l just hold you once more
And convince myself that what I'm not feeling
Could be felt, if l let it
And just be fucking happy for once?

As much as l want to, need to
I can't lie to either of us
But l'll give in to the fantasy you paint
And try to spit up my cold bitter heart

And tell myself that I can feel truelove
Experience it in this life time
And once more become what others
Wish of me...my quest forgotten

July 30, 1999

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Inamorata

The whispering of her soul upon my body
Makes my existence more profound
And our desire more precious.
Her radiance fortifies me
And all l shall ever want is
To savor her embrace
Under the sheltering skies
Of our love.

June 01, 1999

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in august

in august
when fires burn bright
their taunting embers
sear the night
with ardent fingers
caressingly
promising release
for me
soothing flesh
that screams with
need
appeasing thoughts
that rent and bleed
they hold my dreams
until l ache
and so I live
my life and wait
knowing that my
pain shall be
lessened by
her loving me.

july 5, 1999

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Incitation

My lips move slowly over pliant flesh,
Causing nerves to twitch
Beneath the surface,
Tantalizing my senses.
Nibbling along the swell of her breast
The pert and puckered flesh of a dusky bud
Hardens at my touch
As it dances along the tip of my tongue.
The promise of her throaty moan
Infuses me with ardor,
Urging me on to nether places
Where moist tissues beckon.
My tongue moves slowly over silken curls
Inciting goose flesh to raise
Along my heated skin.
I lie pillowed against her mons,
Reveling in the scent
That rises to fill my mind.
The sweet essence of her being
Eclipses any savory delight
Under heaven and earth,
Making me drunk with its
Heady perfume.
I melt in her embrace,
Reeling from the bliss
Of our commingling.
Never sated, never assuaged;
Content to forever
Burn with my desire.

March 7, 1999

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Incomplete

Every day I awaken,
Hoping for a productive day;
My fertile imagination already
Taking me to places I need to be.
As I wrap myself inside
The cocoon of words and images,
I'm painfully aware that
My two realities don't mesh;
I've lived a life incomplete.
The passions I feel,
The needs as yet unfulfilled
Urge me onward, in search
Of the life I was born to,
Thereby allowing fact and fiction,
Cyber and reality,
To become one;
Unfettered and alive.

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Inside/Outside

Sit close.
Unwind the tension in your shoulders
Abide with me awhile.
Our shoulders brushing softly,
Hearts sharing,
Secrets unburdened.
I won't flinch at your touch;
I won't think you're inhuman;
I won't see you as a sexual predator.
Look into my eyes.
What do you see?
Half of what you are is
All of me.

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Insidious Prevalence

'I love you and you love me'
The respect we feel: universally
Is in my head, intangible
We hide too much behind the wall
Sharing things that make us real
Can surely help the way we feel
But still inside there lies the fear
To be so close, and oh so near
I see the way you treat yourself
Emotions way up on a shelf
Afraid to touch, afraid to see
That you are very much like me
So we type the 'l love you's'
And think we're paid up with our dues
Living in quiet desperation
Surrounded by our desolation
Watching as the horror rises
Daily sins no more surprise us
'l hate you and you hate me'
Is spoken with civility
The anger grows, it knows no bounds
We studiously ignore the sounds
The petty crimes insidiously
Pervading life so willingly
Despondency springs up in schools
Where violence seems to be the rule
And still we hold the world at bay
Let isolation pay our way
Instead of reaching out with care
Respecting life within the glare
Of such enormous obstacles
Silence becomes a receptacle
In which to hide our hopes away
For that time, we hope and pray
When how l look and who l love
Won't define and be enough
To hurt and kill and maim with ease
And the rage in us will be appeased

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Intensity

With ardent visions, this l dare
With my desire for thee to share
Our lusty souls entwined as one
Bestir my loins, our passion's spun
My hunger mounts, devours me
Release my cravings, fervently

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Intimate Kiss

Fingers running thru fallow fields,
Teasing at sweet nectar
Untouched and e'er
O'erlooked desires.
Probing soft and dainty
Silken folds, tender
To eye and touch.
Sweet alabaster thighs
Nestled on shoulders
Straining with want and need;
Fingertips fluttering like
Butterflies against buttressed
Gates not yet breached.
And then,
With lamenting cry for those
Times when fluent mastery
Of cunning skills
Were not employed,
Her mouth stretched wide
As I impart
That most wondrous
Intimate kiss.

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Iridescence

Blue eyes tracking green;
Lips parting with anticipation;
Hands on your shoulders,
fingertips at my waist;
Foreheads touching, eyes sparkling;
a grin spreads across my face.
Bending down, captured by your scent;
Slowly kissing your mouth;
Feeling your arms tighten around me.
My world is a narrow moment in time
With you as my focus.

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  Revised: April 12, 2000